The Next Stage

I have some exciting news to share, but at the same time I have been Reluctant to share it, but the effect of the news has been immediate and significant on my life.

My spouse discovered a transperson in my local community who is married, is a baptist pastor, who is in their 60s and who is successfully managing their GD. This person reached a compromise with her wife to live as make at work and with family, but she coul be female the rest of the time.

I know this person because she is a big part of the local trans activism groups and champions TDOR each year in November. I've heard some trans people call her a "cross dresser" because we doesn't live full time but I disagree.

My spouse believe this compromise could work for us.

It's strange that she is actually the one who presented this idea but I'm certainly all for trying it out.  There have been some unexpected benefits though I wanted to share.

My attitude has improved dramatically. I don't feel so trapped anymore. It almost feels like I was told I can transition but just be male for my family. In other words I can be myself, but I still need to fulfill my male roles. It's actually comforting. One of the effects is that I haven't been shrinking as much from dysphoria when people call me "dad" or "father". Instead I kind of own the titles now. It's like I'm playing a role where that title is appropriate but in the end it's just a role, like a job. It doesn't define me, it's just something I do.

This ability I'm gaining to separate my male role from my female life is making me interested in gender specific things again believing they will be less triggering and has renewed my interest in attending church. I still have serious questions to have answered but at least going doesn't seem like it will be as debilitating as it once was.

Why is this working??? Is it permanent or some kind of weird high I'm on?  I'm not sure but ill take advantage of it while it does.

I haven't even presented as female yet, but just t knowledge that I can when i want is somehow very relieving.