Today started out like any normal Saturday. Ok I'm lying, it didn't - I started this morning with a 2 mile jog. I'm working hard to getting back to my true self and making my outside match my inside, so this morning I went for a 2 mile jog with some friends. The jog was great and I went shopping with my partner for Thanksgiving food which was very different than usual since having gone vegetarian. While out I picked up some more razors since I'll be shaving a lot more often, and a facial cleansers to finally get my skin back in good condition, and some medical tape. If you don't know why I'd need medical tape, I'm not going to explain it to you. ;)
I was anxious today about TDOR (Transgender Day of Remembrance) which is tomorrow. as I intended to actually present as myself. I was anxious because I felt the need to hide this from my partner considering her own reservations and incredible moodiness. I noticed that this anxiety actually made me go back to more "male" reactions. I was more moody, and I was more critical and harsh - everything I don't want to be, everything I have not been when I remember that I'm just Kate.
That changed this evening when I got a call from my cousin. I haven't spoken to this cousin in years, but we discovered tonight we had something in common. We are both trans. I'm actually at her place right now typing this blog post at almost 3 am cause we spent the whole night talking. I'm so glad not to feel so alone. I only hope my presence has been as comforting for her as hers has been for me.
I'm so proud of the steps she is taking to find herself and it has been a real boost to me considering how out of sorts I felt all day.
Nothing incredibly perceptive in this blog post, but since I want to post one every day... there ya go!
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