Well this is an unfortunate side effect.
I've been extremely motivated of late to reach my dreams and goals, to make a dedicated effort to be the person I am inside. I've overcome several obstacles along the way, but I think I found one today that is really bugging me.
Being Thanksgiving we ate a lot. I ate less than I otherwise would have but still ate more than is ideal for me right now on my weight loss track. Due to continued shin split pain from my last two runs and the fact that everyone else is busy with their own Thanksgiving arrangements, I've taken the night off running. I'm struggling because I don't feel like I've been actively working toward my goals today. A day off can be nice I guess, but it is actually getting me a bit depressed.
Ever since beginning this path, I've opened myself up to triggers I normally lock down to prevent depression. Not having my inner battle has relieved my anxiety somewhat, but I realize I have to stay motivated and focused or I start to feel depression coming on.
I'm not sure what to do today; its almost over, and I feel like I've been trapped all day. I wish I had someone to talk to so I can just be myself for a little bit. I feel a bit like my old self stuffing my real self down.
I've tried to think of the positive things like, your hair is getting longer, etc. However each positive comment is followed with a negative one in my mind like, well it isn't long enough to get my split ends cut off and my hair looks ratty. I guess I just need a pick me up, someone to help me refocus and tell me I'm going to make it.
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